"Remember when we were young and couldn't wait to grow older so that we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted? How's that working' out for ya?"
"I would have liked to insult you, but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended."
"Good friends will bail you out of jail but your best friends will be sittin next to you saying "Shit, that was fuckin funny!"
"There is no such thing as sleep deprivation, there is only caffeine deficiency."
"There's always a little truth behind every "just kidding", a little knowledge behind every "I don't know", a little emotion behind every "I don't care"
"People who smile are thinking about doing something evil. People who laugh have already done it."
"If you don't understand my silence, you can't understand my words."
"Hold on tight...I saw this once in a cartoon...and I think I can do it!"
"Shot my first turkey yesterday. . scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section... It was awesome!!!"
"Sure, I talk to myself, and willingly admit it. It doesn't mean I'm crazy... just that I appreciate intelligent conversations and know where to find one."
"Don't make your problem MY problem, because you won't like how I handle it."
"It's okay to talk to yourself. It's okay if you answer. If you say, "Huh?" there could be a serious problem."
"Don't worry! I am ONLY a bitch when the situation calls for it. You rang?"
"The first person who said "words can't hurt you" just didn't throw dictionaries at people with enough force."
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and loudly screaming: Wow, what a ride!"
MOJ ABSOLUTNO NAJLJUBŠI, KI ME VEDNO NASMEJI:
"Your ex is limping around the front yard, bleeding to death...
What do you do?
When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.
Two things are infinite:the universe and human stupidity;and I'm not sure about the universe.
If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!